Happiness flow channel

I feel the most happy doing something I love. It might seem obvious but it's surprising how often I look for happiness in other areas. The only thing I could think about when reading this article was throwing. I've been working through some mental blocks with throwing lately and found it so applicable to this article! It is all about the balance between boredom and anxiety. If I have a bad throw, my first instinct is to get super down on myself and my reflex after that is to try to convince myself I don't care. Neither of these is good because I am either a. Super anxious or b. indifferent and lacking passion. Flipping between these emotions drove me to really question the sport I love and if I am constantly battling my mind, do I even love it at all? I can't say I have it all figured out but I am learning how to keep myself passionate and always striving to do better while still giving myself a break if I have an off day. It is so much easier said than done but I really think that is the balance between boredom and anxiety and the "flow channel".

"People who learn to control inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is as close as many of us can come to being happy."

It seems like that would be so easy: just control your mind and you'll be happy! It's so much harder than one would think. As far as my project goes, I am excited by it but also really nervous that I am not going to have enough to show for my 16 weeks. The only thing to do about that at this point is keep working and pour myself into the project so I can continue to love it and rid myself of the anxiety that comes with it.

A schedule for the week

With the Ithaca Relays and an AP Stats final, last week was not my finest when it comes to WISE productivity. Although it may seem a little silly, here is a list of posts I still need to do:

Last week's WISE class
Last week's mentor meeting
Response to Ms G's comment
Research from the sources Mr. M gave me
This week's wise class on the happiness article

Wise is ending so soon and I don't want these last few weeks to be a scramble. I want to learn a lot and keep up with everything so I can have an awesome presentation. That being said, here is my schedule for the week:

Monday-read happiness article and respond, also doing research on from the list
Tuesday- play for an hour, watch youtube videos and respond to Ms G's comment
Wednesday- play for an hour, watch documentary (or part) that Jesse showed me
Thursday- play for an hour and do a reflection post of the week of practice
Friday - do research during 2nd period and catch up on any more journal entries not completed

Babam. There's a mighty fine plan for the week!

Belated lesson post

Mr McMahon brought two banjos in last week and got a space in k where we could practice and he gave me a little lesson! It's so convenient that my mentor knows all about the banjo. One thing I learned very quickly is that the basic motion of clawhammer banjo playing is very different from what I learned in violin or guitar. It takes a lot of practice of just a simple motion before I can really progress. That's something that I think is really okay and part of the learning experience but just different than my expectations because I was able to learn basic guitar and piano quicker. That being said, the banjo has such a fun sound! Mr McMahon showed me some of the tunes he knows and it sounds so awesome. He also explained to me a little about how he leaned and how he can be a proficient banjo player without any musical background. It's awesome and crazy to think about how the brain works in relation to music.

Tuning night

Tonight I've been working on re leaning all my tuning knowledge. When I received the banjo it was in pretty good tune but I need to practice to ensure when the weather warms up I'll be able to keep it that way. Fortunately, I played the violin for 7 years and did quite a bit of string tuning in my day! Another skill to add to the list that goes along with playing he banjo.

Response to WISE class

Today we went over some general stuff as always and went around and shared all of our projects (and favorite colors). We are now going to look for a piece of research for a person and someone will find some for us (reminder: actually do that).

Next we listened to aThis I Believe essay from NPR about taking risks and leaving ones comfort zone. The author starts out talking about surfing and then moves on to discuss meeting with different people in his life and how it has been an aspiration of his to do this because he wants people to challenge him. My first reaction was wow, this sounds just like my college essay! It is strangely true that my essay was all about having people challenge you and how that's a great thing. One thing I was thinking about over the course of the day though was Ms Gergley's comment about there being a fine line between being stupidly dangerous and taking a healthy risk. I think this is totally true but sometimes fear and insecurity can make that line pretty fuzzy. I really believe that the whole idea of the essay to take risks is so important in life, but the problem that Ms G addressed happens when taking risks becomes the ultimate thing. If all someone does is live to go out of their comfort zone what's the point of being comfortable anywhere? Do you even have a comfort zone in that case? Overall though I think the more common problem is the opposite: being too stuck in a comfort zone. What an awesome idea it is to have a list of people you want to meet for the sole purpose of razzing you up and throwing you a curve ball, making you question everything you know. That, I believe, is brave and an awesome risk to take.

Some casual youtubing

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HdWOYFnRiz0

Here is a video I found on clawhammer style banjo playing. It goes at a slow pace and the guy seems to know what he is talking about. I am finding that with this project youtube is really my best friend. One of the greatest way to have lessons without spending money is to just watch them on youtube.

My Newly Borrowed Banjo!

I have now officially borrowed a banjo from Eric Pritz and am ready to play! He also lent me a great book which has a lot of basic information about the structure and history of the banjo as well as techniques, but mainly is instructional with basic chords and progressions. Naturally, being very excited to jump right in, I skipped all the background information and went straight for the chords. I am happy to say I have learned 3 this weekend! I was so excited that when I picked it up from Molly on Friday I bright it into my track team room and started strumming away for my team, who were very confused but a great audience.

My next step is to actually read (I know, shocker) the first part of the banjo book and do some other research. My Mentor told me there are two main kinds of playing and alas I know nothing about either so time to hit the research component! Overall I am really excited to have started playing and I can't wait to make more progress.

Mentor meeting

My mentor and I discussed how to get jump started in my project. Fortunately he knows a lot about learning instruments! We discussed where to get an instrument and about renting. Also, Mr Pritz offered for me to borrow his banjo so I think because of convenience and my ambivalence I will learn the banjo! Progress

Monday Class reflection

We first read "Two Tramps in Mud Time" by Robert Frost. What an understandable and accurate description of the changing seasons and a unique interaction! It's rare that I understand poetry so I really enjoyed reading this. Next we went through a list of things to remember to do/ have done:

-24 entries and 8 mentor meetings
-mind the gaps (Don't take large chunks of time off, not that I would ever do that)
-be logging research regularly and clearly
-what am I learning? Where am I and why is that ok/not ok?
-do the assignments (like out of the rut)
-mp3 ends Thursday
-sample presentation 5/21

So basically I know what I need to do. Time to buckle down and get caught up. As far as where I am and if that's okay, I think that it's okay as long as I start moving in my new project pronto.

Spring Break Brain Dump

Over this past week I have thought a lot about WISE and switching my project. Ms Gergley said I should do a half hour write, which I like to think of as a brain dump. I was at the beach with my parents this past week, so I went back and forth between super analyzing everything I should be doing for my project and completely avoiding thinking about it so I could enjoy the sun and clear my mind. Even though I've gotten a little behind I think it was a really good think to take a step back and then reevaluate what I want to do. I still think that switching projects is a really good idea because I should be really psyched about my project and carpentry is just not doing it for me. So if I start there with a clean slate and imagine I never thought about doing a music project, in what direction would I go? Some ideas of general things I want to do in life to get me started: gardening, training on my bike (perhaps to do the AIDS ride), become a lifeguard, become an EMT basic, do more childcare with babies and toddlers, learn how to waitress, learn how to sail, play more music (improve piano and guitar skills), start a business, start a charity, do international missions trips or any type of service trip, do more kayaking, make a cookbook, train another guiding eyes dog (just to name a few). You can tell I clearly lack ambition in life, right? So some of these things are really too big to do as a WISE project. Becoming an EMT takes lots of time and money. Doing service trips also take time and money. I suppose time and money make the world go 'round, but only if you let them. Well here I am, about three quarters of the way through WISE and I have some really valuable time left and although sometimes it feels like I have to limit myself a lot, I know that I really do have a huge opportunity in front of me. So after all this brainstorming and thinking I have concluded this: I must do all these things in my life because making this brainstorm list got me so excited ( I better live to be 300 or else get ready to multitask), and I still want to pursue a project in music for the rest of my time.  My mother is a music teacher and my father a performer for as long as I can remember. Music has always been a part of my life and I think that's why I initially strayed from the idea as a project. I have already taken countless voice lessons, learned guitar and piano, and performed on stage more times than I can remember, so I felt like maybe I should really get out of my comfort zone more. What I realized though is that I can do something I love and push it to a new level in order to get out of my comfort zone. For instance, even though I've performed so much, sometimes when I have a solo in the choir concert or something (especially if I feel I don't know it as well as I should) my lips start to shake and I get crazy stage freight even though I've done it a million times!  Maybe a goal of my project could be to take a next step towards being super confident while performing. For instance maybe if I were to decide on playing the mandolin I could learn some cool songs and sign up for a performance slot at the Ithaca festival! I don't even know if that's possible, but just an example of a step that would take this project far from ordinary for me. The thought of that terrifies me a little, so I think that's a good sign. Now the question is: what should I play? I either want to learn mandolin or banjo, so here is a list of things I need to find out in order to proceed.
-pros and cons to both
-does Hickey's rent either and how much?
-Who could I contact in the community that could give me a basic lesson?

I also want to see if I can get a hold of Sam Kelling. He was in WISE two years ago I believe and I am pretty sure he played banjo for his project. He was a friend of my brother's so I'm hoping I can find a way to reach him and perhaps he can give me some ideas from his project.
In summary, the great thing about a brain dump is that it's a string of disjointed thoughts so I don't even need to summarize it because it wouldn't be logical! Lovely.